Julia Tyukalova

Breath of Life

July, heat, dust… asphalt jungle, and I’m in the centre of it.
I don’t know who am I. I don’t remember how I got there. Actually, I’m ignorant at all of everything that happened to me before the heat…I think I’m going a crazy…No, I’m definitely lunatic.I feel hot asphalt burning my foot…I’m going barefoot, but I don’t know where…just straight on. No aim, no point, no wish…I hear bells ringing in my ears and people laughing and crying, boasting and complaining. I bet my head is going to burst because of these noise. My feeble and exhausted body is snatched of my control and I’m carried away by the savage stream of pedestrians. The hell noise is increasing…People, what you are talking about? Please, shut up…Snatches of meaningless talks penetrates into my mind…Economic crisis, naughty children, unfaithful wife, severe chief…dinner…dinner…What a nice idea to have a dinner! I believe the last time when I had it to be many centuries ago…Magically, by sudden impulse my body is thrown out of stream of running people and I finding myself in a Chinese restaurant. Now I’m sitting at the table and looking at the menu. Sushi, rice, vegetables, shrimps – all these things has been tasted by me in my past life. Than my look settles on fugu…and I make an order. The waiter looks at me anxiously and asks “Are you sure? Do you know what kind of fish it is?” Such a strange guy! Certainly, I do...I hope so…Now I’m eating it. No taste, no smell, no pleasure…I don’t remember whether I eated it completely or not, whether I paid for it or not. It doesn’t matter, because now I’m outside, I’ m looking at a Bentley, parked at the restaurant…Now I’m driving it…The idea of running a car that I has stolen arouses feelings unfamiliar to my. I feel blood running in my veins; I feel my heart beating rapidly. Yes, it breathed life into me. But I’m just half-alive, half-happy. What else can I do?I don’t know how I got inside an airplane. There are 5 more guys with parachutes at their backs, and a trainer loudly giving us regulations how to exercise a parachute jump. But I turn a deaf ear to his idle talk… Now it’s my turn.I’m taking off my parachute and I hear the trainer shouting at me…and with the words “Don’t worry, I do not need a parachute” I take the step towards my freedom…Now I’m in free fall. I feel that my body gravitate to earth, but my soul and mind are frees… I see birds greeting me and approving my flight…Now I feel wind touching my body, I see blue sky and I remember my short life in details… Now I’m absolutely alive, absolutely happy... but earth is too close to me…Crash!I open my eyes and jump out of bed. It’s so dark! “Of course, because it’s a night” my inner voice says. One more nightmare. I go to bed, close my eyes thinking that it’s great that it’s January, it’s cold and hot July must come only in 6 months.
28 April 2009 20:28